The Star Garden

by Ivy Hollivana

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about

☆ ℛᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ☆ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ☆

Welcome to the Star Garden, where you will be broken and built up again.

♡ bonus artbook included in download ♡

credits

released 10 August 2014

All music & lyrics - Ivy Hollivana
Mastering - Jose Pizarro (soundcloud.com/pursuing-paradise) + (soundcloud.com/elevation-jose-pizarro)

my dearest thanks to Logan, Brook, Evee, Sam, and everyone who helped make this album possible.

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license

all rights reserved

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feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Bunny
i’m a bunny wishing for a stronger heart
that doesn’t let every little thing
tear her apart
i need to get away from built up debris
and i need to find a home that sets me free

storms rip through my head
escalating silences
can i
will i
ever be needed?

i could never repay all of the days you've saved me
bringing me to pinnacle of life
and i know that one day i'll see
again this tragedy will seem like a memory

i’m a bunny wishing for a stronger heart
that doesn’t let every little thing
tear her apart
i need to get away from built up debris
and i need to find a home that sets me free

what can i help you with?
i seem to be sliding back inside myself again
i care therefore i cry
for all the nights beside me

don't get the wrong idea i know i am alive
but i seem to be at a crossroads in my life
i need to know if my world will hold
if i decide to break

i’m a bunny wishing for a stronger heart
that doesn’t let every little thing
tear her apart
i need to get away from built up debris
and i need to find a home that sets me free
Track Name: Uncovered
i should've asked you to ask first
throwing your heart around uncovered
never ends the way you want to

no one's that far in the ground
no one's that deaf to that sound

i wanted to sound the alarm
earlier than actually needed
but would have that been better?
i could've built up some armor
to everything that proceeded

i'm worried that
i won't the sense
to hold myself back

how many times have i fell?
trying to fight back, i cannot tell
not even by the wounds on my knees,
where the ground hit me

i'll find my way
back to the lake
do you promise to make me feel ok?
but i know you
and i know you wouldn't leave me out there

it's been eating at me
the gnawing refuses to cease
i need to get on my hands and knees
and look to you and pray that you understand me


how many times have i fell?
trying to fight back, i cannot tell
not even by the wounds on my knees,
where the ground hit me

i'll find my way
back to the lake
do you promise to make me feel ok?
but i know you
and i know you wouldn't leave me out there
Track Name: By the Way
i hope it doesn't hurt as much as i do
feeling empty like this
isn't the best thing i can do now

in your arms i knew what heaven
it wasn't above me
like they told me
it just simply was
you

but can't you see that i need you?
you're the only one who
who can help me yell my feelings out
and who can get me out of this house
by the way
get me out of this house
my stamina is running out
and i need a way to rebirth
preferably in your hands

i knew that you were secretly the ocean
throwing my emotions back to me with another gun
but please know that i am healing
know that i am rebuilding
but remember i was ruined
feel free to forget

but with you i know
i can hold on
you give me hope that no one ever could
get from anyone built around so many trees
just don't dislocate your faith in me

but can't you see that i need you?
you're the only one who
who can help me yell my feelings out
and who can get me out of this house
by the way
get me out of this house
my stamina is running out
and i need a way to rebirth
preferably in your hands

i just want to sleep in peace
with you next to me
and i wanna run away from everything
don't leave me alone again
i cannot take it
i can't simply take it like that
Track Name: Skin
breathe winter back into my skin
i need to find a way back there again
i know you have a lot to deal with
but please, show me this

i know you're kind enough
your wanderlust for the other side
never in my mind, never in your mind
i wanted to be the one to say
i'd gladly be ok
a shot passed through my eye and down the river

but i really wanted to know,
may i keep my sinners?

do i have a spot among the goldenrods?
sometimes i say to the spirits that hung around my head
"Does that change your opinion of me yet?"

i don't remember much
not at all
though i think i'm supposed to me
and i think you're supposed to catch my breath
for me dear

breathe winter back into my skin
i need to find a way back there again
i know you have a lot to deal with
but please, show me this

i know you're kind enough
your wanderlust for the other side
never in my mind, never in your mind
i wanted to be the one to say
i'd gladly be ok
a shot passed through my eye and down the river

but i really wanted to know,
may i keep my sinners?
Track Name: Lavender
leave stars on my neck
they remind me that
i'm real, in this place
even if i'm in a cage
with nothing but
my destructive thoughts
fearing my honesty

please
please
let me mean something
please
let me be enough
for you to know
that my world is spinning
there's no winning in this sea
but you still mean the world to me
i smile sadly
and i will gladly
be engulfed in my empathy

it's risky putting your faith in breakable being
you have to be strong and think you belong
and you have to know
that nothing stays pure
forever

i bleed lavender from my thighs
i scar
i cry
i scar and i cry
if i disappear
i won't be near
anything i need anymore
i try to look ahead
and focus on something important
but you mean the world to me
i smile sadly
and i will gladly
(everything hurts)
be engulfed
by my empathy

i wanna be ok
tell me i'm ok
help me
convince me
kill me
i hope you're ok
i'll be waiting
i'll bathe you in starlight until the last fight

i don't have to put up with this
i could easily end this
but is it worth all the hurt that comes with it?

could i handle the silence
i would feel at night
i wouldn't have anyone to tell me it's alright
cos right now i'm aching more than you know

please
please
let me mean something
please
let me be enough
for you to know
that my world is spinning
there's no winning in this sea
but you still mean the world to me
i smile sadly
and i will gladly
be engulfed in my empathy

i bleed lavender from my thighs
i scar
i cry
i scar and i cry
if i disappear
i won't be near
anything i need anymore
i try to look ahead
and focus on something important
but you mean the world to me
i smile sadly
and i will gladly
(everything hurts)
be engulfed
by my empathy

i wanna be ok
tell me i'm ok
help me
convince me
kill me
i hope you're ok
i'll be waiting
i'll bathe you in starlight until the last fight
Track Name: Gems
run me out to the forest
find me a place to hide
with you
my dear
we walk through all this
to satisfy existence
what for?
i just want to spend my few days untorn

you keep me from losing the wind
your soul is made up of sea salt gems
darkening
and remembering the smallest things

they will pass
your heads sound tired
so please take a rest
maybe we won't all have what we think we need
but i won't let it destroy your sanity

a lot is on the line
and we will change over time
for the better
but remains is something
i'll always hold onto

rip me apart
at the seams
get it all out of me
my beloved
i have a covenant
that i won't let you
wither away

while bathed in jasmine
the orchard took them
lovers on their paths to oz
while i watched from afar
there's still
so many things that need to be saved
on this page alone

don't grow up without me
i cannot afford to leave
this life
so easily
i'll call you all again
share all your thoughts in your head
to me, my friend

we're all so delicate
are we ever going to fit
do we just float on
with everyone
till we're gone?
daydreams fade
eventually
they don't have good sustainability
when we're eaten up by the earth
serve my heart first

a lot is on the line
and we will change over time
for the better
but remains is something
i'll always hold onto

rip me apart
at the seams
get it all out of me
my beloved
i have a covenant
that i won't let you
wither away

while bathed in jasmine
the orchard took them
lovers on their paths to oz
while i watched from afar
there's still
so many things that need to be saved
on this page alone
Track Name: For Autumn
i wonder
what do i need
loving everything
is just part
of my being

the stars in the water
fall everywhere
the cream colored autumn
makes it worth it
every time
i remember you're here

tell me about the fawns
that left in the autumn
blessed with moth filled mouths
under their shrouds
will i see them again?
can i regain all in my head?

look at me tell me i matter
i think that things are getting better
but i still have yet to settle my shaking fists
look at me tell me i'm better
that this is just terrible weather
that even though each day seems harder
i won't drown forever

i hope that we will be content
where we have less and less to worry about
i'm desperate to see that you
will have the greatest
life i can give to you

it all matters so much
i can take a punch, three or four
maybe even more
it depends where i stand
with the doves, or in your hands

i won't be lost in this court
come to me
tell me you're sure of anything anymore

tell me about the fawns
that left in the autumn
blessed with moth filled mouths
under their shrouds
will i see them again?
can i regain all in my head?

look at me tell me i matter
i think that things are getting better
but i still have yet to settle my shaking fists
look at me tell me i'm better
that this is just terrible weather
that even though each day seems harder
i won't drown forever
Track Name: Wolves
what another feeling nowhere
i don't mean much
to a lot of discovered ones
check it out her failures fuel me
this machine has run its course

so let's split our earnings
let's go to town and buy some earrings

i wish i didn't think
half the things i do
i am basically food for the wolves
at this rate
i don't know where i'm going
anymore
help me by pulling my hair back

what another feeling nowhere
i don't mean much
to a lot of discovered ones
would you believe me if i told you i cried
last night

and the vinyls rip my skin
(and the night before it)
tear me open
(and the night before it)

am i really worth it
am i really truly worth it?
Track Name: Fire Rush
whatever you do just take me along
take me along
i need to see you
i need a leverage and i want it to be you
want it to be you

put a flower in my hair
urge it with care to blossom
cos i need a way to fly
away from this
business
of wondering

it's a process to not break down
i try to always close my eyes and pretend you're around
but when everything becomes tiring
i just need a little intoxicating fire rush
please breathe out the myths of misinformed people
i know you better than this

you were once me
and i was once you
i know together we can pull through
but it takes so much
and i have less each time
something like this crosses my mind

i need an anchor be that for me
i need to know that your night
will give me a reason to weep
i need to get hold of my life once again
and i hope i have you with my my friend

it's a process to not break down
i try to always close my eyes and pretend you're around
but when everything becomes tiring
i just need a little intoxicating fire rush
please breathe out the myths of misinformed people
i know you better than this

whatever you do just take me along
take me along
i need to see you
i need a leverage and i want it to be you
want it to be you

put a flower in my hair
urge it with care to blossom
cos i need a way to fly
away from this
business
of wondering

help me forget about the dark
that didn't hear anything that you heard
i need a restep
i need a regret

it's a process to not break down
i try to always close my eyes and pretend you're around
but when everything becomes tiring
i just need a little intoxicating fire rush
please breathe out the myths of misinformed people
i know you better than this
Track Name: Clouds
a lonely sort of dull part
where i felt the wings pass by you

staring into the dark
where sunset offered as a comfort

i hurt
it is worse
than i thought i could handle

but if i forget my pain momentarily
underneath the rain i see
everything i fell for

and it's still there

you're the only one who can see what's really going on inside me
you were the one to rescue me
nothing compares to that feeling
i just wish the best for you
but i still hope we can make it through
i know i have my head in the clouds
but don't pull me out

oh look at you
look at you
look at you
you're everything i need

oh look at you
look at you
look at you
you're everything i need

you're the only one who i want
in this wilting world that's falling apart
you're the one who matters this much

i might be scared of being alone
but i was alone for the longest time
and i survived

what i am really terrified of
is the the thought of never seeing you smile again
and fearing i would be just a friend
the stabbing would never end

from the time where we blossomed
i was in the safest space
i was wanted
i was finally
wanted

i thought i
wouldn't be forgotten
i fought
for the feelings i had

you're the only one who can see what's really going on inside me
you were the one to rescue me
nothing compares to that feeling
i just wish the best for you
but i still hope we can make it through
i know i have my head in the clouds
but don't pull me out

i see you everywhere
everywhere
everywhere
you mean too much to me for this to be spared
i forgive you
i forgive you
you damned angel i forgive you
you showed me what happiness was
do you think i wouldn't fight for that?

oh look at you
look at you
look at you
you're everything i need

oh look at you
look at you
look at you
you're everything i need

you're the only one who i want
in this wilting world that's falling apart
you're the one who matters this much
Track Name: Leyendecker Pallet
i'll settle it out
inside
don't mind me i'll just be
pedaling beside you
if i was left out there i suppose
i would absorb all of the snow
but i don't have to fight alone
at last

i have you to be there

i love every thought
i have of holding you close
my heart rolls
over with every dream i have

was it possible
you had me so entranced like a leyendecker pallet?
i know you were the one to paint my heart a sun
your eyes sang of autumn mist
and you seemed to have granted my one and only wish
woah, i thrive with you

you keep the nightmares away
you have me smiling towards the bay
i have pondered if this is truly bliss

with your raspberry mouth
sweetly saying everything
that wraps me in a golden coat
i no longer sail in an empty boat

you caress my soul
hands like tulip
i hope what i have in the years ahead
includes a bowl of pomegranate

i love every thought
i have of holding you close
my heart rolls
over with every dream i have

was it possible
you had me so entranced like a leyendecker pallet?
i know you were the one to paint my heart a sun
your eyes sang of autumn mist
and you seemed to have granted my one and only wish
woah, i thrive with you

wrap round me like seaweed
fly with me
fly with me
don't stop
you made me learn the art of waiting for the flowers to bloom
just don't forget i'll return to you
Track Name: Windmills
dance with me under the moon
windmills tell our story
we look to the frogs at noon
wondering when they're sorry

when something's wrong
i become a puzzle to solve
but when you help me get away
i'll always beg you to stay

this was outside
anything i've ever known
it seemed to have wings of its own

don't let me look inside myself
i know what i see won't be true
forevermore
i hope that this will all continue

i won't be crystalized
in a trancelike state
but a music box's fate is to repeat

but don't guide me into the dark
i trusted you with this part

oh my friends tie a thread to my wrist
and pull me apart
wrap up my heart in a warm jacket

as the trees passed by they said the same
"look at you, you don't have to carry the rain in your hand"
don't look back
REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES YOU'LL SEE THEM AGAIN

this was outside
anything i've ever known
it seemed to have wings of its own

don't let me look inside myself
i know what i see won't be true
forevermore
i hope that this will all continue

dance with me under the moon
windmills tell our story
we look to the frogs at noon
wondering when they're sorry